romney says big bird's got to go along with jim lehrer. >> does anyone think it's strange that juan is defending pbs? >> i'm not saying. >> that's it for us, thanks for watching, h welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. hi, andy, what what's coming up on tonight's show? >> should sex offender be allowed to put up halloween decorations ? we report and decide. and does being a fan of on-line role playing world of war craft make you unfit to hold public office? some say yes, but others say -- some say yes. and finally the gay and lesbian alliance says there is a record number of gay characters. so to be fair they think everyone is gay. >> thanks, andy. jay how is your -- >> how is your bus doing? >> my bus tour is november 28th to december 23rd.

but there are some problems. >> what is going on? >> things are getting out of hand. >> why? >> i don't think i was wise in my hiring practices. >> what did you do? >> the people i hired are weird. >> is there -- are there -- explain. >> every time i go to visit the bus they are doing something. >> that was the caterer. >> i guess we have different definitions of weird. >> i am here patti ann browne. >> and he is so sharp he

sleeps on a pin cushion. i would like to welcome will ron. that's a cool name. deputy editor, will ron. and "the lizard king" comes out on tuesday. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if comedic senior was a washing machine, people would pay to a load inside him. and the great actor and comedian and knuckle biter, greg proost. >> a block, the lede, that's the first story. >> yes, they put the affront in a front yard. i speak of an ohio couple, is there any other kind, who made halloween less sweet by disking the chander in chief. melissa and glen if those are their real names, decorated with giant spiders and spider webs and ensnaring obama and joe biden dressed as clowns. the theme, a political and

financial circus. the couple who is riding on a spider's back will lead the country out of this sticky, weby mess. some people claim the display is disrespectful and possibly racist. the crew says he is caught in the web and not connected to a nearby tree. but racist would say that. so what do owls think about all of this? >> oh come on. say something else. >> he is like a little greg proobst. he looks like you. >> he looks like moi uncle. >> he did. i don't even know him. you are a devout racist. does this impress you, or was it not racist enough? >> i thought it was great there was a hammer and circle on the back of the money. when i go to the bank there is a hammer on everything. if i can flip it through. >> i think there is a war on

halloween. i think it has to stop in this country. >> do you know what? i think there is a war on the war on halloween. i want to stop that. >> i think there should be a war on the war on the war on halloween. and then we hang everybody from a tree. >> there you go. >> my father used to check my candy when we went home. there was a story in the old days where people put razor blades in the candy. i don't think there was one actual incident of. he would eat all of my candy. i think that's what this is about. it is about my dad eating my candy. >> you should put candy in his razor. >> that's what i should have done. >> is he around? >> no, he passed away. i will pour aqua velva on his tomb. >> pab, do you find mig offensive about this display? it is harmless good fun. >> it is stupid. the country is divided. you know that half of your neighbors will be pissed off and all of that. other than that, they have the right to do it. it is stupid, but the best part is the signs. i don't know if you can see

them . they talk about the national debt. they have that hanging on trees and federal spending numbers on trees. that's the true horror story. if you want to scare people on halloween, that's the way to scare people. i like that part of it. >> pab once in awhile stumbles on to a point and she did it just then. isn't she right that this is a novel approach to halloween? scare people with facts or political rhetoric. >> my favorite part is mitt romney riding the giant spider. nothing says i am going to lead you out of this fiscal calamity like riding a giant spider. is it a good idea to appear to have the president hanging from a web from a tree? is it racist? no. is it stupid 1234* yes. >> it is one out of three. that's all you need. do politics belong in halloween or does halloween belong in politics or my fist belong in your face? >> no, no, and maybe. halloween does thought belong

in politics because it is pagan. you can't be for the war on halloween and the war on christmas. pick a team. i think this is a great message. it says no matter how stupid your message and con vow lewded and how unfunny the first amendment rule still applies, and that's america right there. >> wait a minute. i remember you a couple days ago saying that didn't apply to hate speech, ie or that muslim film. you are being a little inconsistent. >> let's roll the tape. we will dwo it later -- we will do it later then. here is a thing i have a problem with. this is insulting to obama because they don't celebrate in kenya. and it is pagan and he is muslim so this is insulting to his religion. >> it is insulting everywhere. all eight-leg creatures should take this up. the last thing they want is a mormon on their back. if you look in the book the mormon it says thou shall not

ride on the back -- i am paraphrasing. >> i am not even sure what paraphrase means. >> it is a phrase, but there are two of them. >> it is a phrase that comes from the sky. >> from our front yard to getting barred. is decorating your bait kiddie bait. decorators in simi valley -- no wonder it is called simi. they are suing the city and calling for an injunction that bars them from using halloween decorations claiming it violates their free speech rights. the city requires everyone on the megan's law website to put a sign on the front door that reads, quote, no candy or treats at this residence. and according to the lawsuit, both the banner and the ban violates the first amendment rights. the attorney for the unnamed defenders claimed they particularly disliked the sign adding, quote, to us it is similar to branding. we can think of what happened in nazi germany where jews had

to appear in public wearing yellow stars. a valid and not totally offensive comparison if i do say so myself. for more let's go to the chief legal correspondent, water cooler cat. >> clearly it is a man in a cat outfit. i did that all the time to get free beverages. will, is this like an appropriate battle? >> if you want to discourage people from going to the home of sex offenders you should discourage them. the jews and the nazi germany thing, greg i am here and calling for a more for yum on that phrase. we can say literally nothing is like that.

>> i think you are absolutely right. you could be like father and son. >> he is my child. i was in new york city some 30 years ago. >> oh my god. i was wondering when this moment would come. >> what is your mother's name? >> barbara. it is not barbara for the record. >> that's what she called herself when i met her, or i met him. >> i will see myself out, thank you very much. >> oh goodness. >> i think you lost control of the room. >> how dare you call me out on my hosting abilities. you go ahead. what do you think about this? you hate the first amendment, but you are ambivalent on sex offenders. >> i am conflicted. there are wives and children

who are a part of the sex offenders, and they are not allowed to decorate. >> how tragic for them. >> i do feel bad about that. >> you know why i feel bad? bill is still single. >> i'm sorry. i keep interest rupting -- i keep interruptiing you. >> you should not send your kids to these houses because i agree as supporters of the law say it is an opportunity for sex offenders to lure people into their houses, and it is dangerous. >> here is the thing if are you a violent felon you can't buy a gun. from you a sex offender removing the right of having children come to your house is reasonable. >> it reminds me of something that happened in nazi germany.

they used to have a sign that said welcome everybody and a big pot of candy. the delicious liccorice ones in germ germany. our americans can't do it, and that's what is wrong with this country. >> we are over looking the weird part of the story. there are 160 sex offender in simi valley. that's a lot of sex offenders. what is it about simi valley? >> it is simi valley. >> we call it simi. it is like an island for misfit toys. >> simi valley is quite beautiful. i have friends there. it is a delightful place, and i won't let you smear vee me valley. >> -- simi valley. >> nobody said sex offenders don't have great taste. >> most sex offenders, don't they move back home because they can't go anywhere? you can't be within any place like a school or anything where there is kids, so you move back with your poor mother.

>> that is a meta physical law, you can't be any place 1234* what am i to do, hover the earth? >> just don't molest kids. that's the easiest thing. i just find this whole thing -- will go to you, will, last, this to me is a bizarre battle. when you are talking about rights. how is dispensing candy a right? >> it is a privilege. it is a privilege you are in america giving candy to children. mitt romney riding a spider on anybody's lawn, no wide will go there. no wide wants to deal with the lecture they will give you and they will register you to vote. kids don't want to vote ?ie. from offenders to pretenders. she likes to maim while playing a game. she is a democratic candidate, and they have them there. and she is a left 80 fire assassin rogue. >> while they were playing the world of war craft or wow, and

the main republican party says it makes her unfit for office. one, i am a level 68 rogue girl. we already knew that. and that means i stabbed things a lot. who would have thought a peace loving social worker would enjoy that. and the next one, i love poisoning and stabbing. it is fun. i never thought i would love it so much either. sounds like pab. i did not start out in wow with a rogue. if you excuse me, i may have to drowned grover norquist in my bathtub. in colleen's fantasy world she gets away with crude, vicious and violent comments like it those. they need a state senator that lives in the real world and not fantasy world. speaking of fantasy world, here is my world of war craft.

>> that balloon was filled with poison. >> they deserve it. >> of course it is. >> should people elect somebody who spends a hell of a lot of time as an assassin in a fantasy world? >> i do think it is helpful for the voters to know that this woman intends to take their taxpayer money to sit in her office and seriously slack off, those are her words, be lazy, her words, she is bragging about this and fan tau sizing about stabbing republicans. i assume the people in main work hard for their money, and they don't want to give it to this woman who brags about how they will waste their money obsessing of this on-line game. >> i don't know. i am the opposite. if i wanted to be a democrat in office i would want to do anything but work. i want her to play.

>> then she is your gal. she made it clear she does not want to work. >> i want all politicians to play video games because they do less -- they do less of everything. is this one of the weirder political stories you have come across, or was -- wasn't kristine o'donnell a witch? >> she was a witch for awhile. and a delightful one. >> i am not certain. i know if you cast an incantation you know you have to rub your hand in the imaginary area. what stit was kristine o'donnell from? >> delaware. >> is that a state? >> that's a section of world of war craft. you have to get to the fifth level before you get to the asle of delaware. >> now we will get mail from people. delaware is a lovely place. that was a mistake, i think. i can safely say -- i don't know. i can't remember anything. what do you think? should this matter? >> no. who doesn't have the occasional weird on-line

habit. i am deeply involved in an on-line forum for bronies. my boss got me into it. does it mean we can't run for legislature in main? what are they doing? >> what do you do? do you dress up as my little pone into? my little pony? >> you know a little about it. >> i reported and enjoy. >> are you going to the convention this year? >> maybe. >> it is fan fiction,/fan fiction. >> hotterrer and hotterrer. >> maybe you are related. maybe it is a shame from you related then nothing can happen. maybe you are not related. >> that is the most common logic i ever heard. >> is there such a thing as dw incest. either way i am against it. >> bill, you do a lot of roll playing. what is your take on this? >> this will help and it is a

big college town. i bet the entire town is on world of war craft. the only people that are not going to vote for her are the ones invested in which ever level delaware is in. >> she is not in delaware. >> are you confused by this? >> i have never been to maine. how do they fight there with pep ridge farms? particular the milano and drive it into your head. >> we have offended two perceived states. by the way, i love maine and i love delaware. >> you also love callers at kimbo. >> i honestly look like i am willy loman. >> according to the tie you like the group split ends. >> i am in a tribute band. we do a lot of deep cuts.

we don't just start with my sherona. we go way down. >> to the other ones. >> yes that nobody knows about. that one from little girls understand album. see, i remember. >> basically you look like you are going to give mary tyler moore the business. she comes in and says something funny and betty white does something and then you have your lunch. >> that was random. the previous 20 minutes made no sense. >> we have had no substance whatsoever. and i beg you to hold on to that. >> this has been the -- i am watching it. does having a child mean the party is over? patti ann brown discusses her new book. "sorry, punk, i will never stop clubbing until i die." and people hate stripper stories and prefer nonstripper stories. oh well. [ male announcer ] citibank's app for ipad

makes it easy for anne to manage her finances when she's on the go. even when she's not going anywhere. citibank for ipad. easier banking. standard at citibank. okay. [ male announcer ] with citibank's popmoney, dan can easily send money by email right from his citibank account.

nice job ben. [ male announcer ] next up -- the gutters. citibank popmoney. easier banking. standard at citibank. peek niece who can no longer see his knees? trick question, dogs don't have knees. the dog population has gotten portly. that has lead them to open the nation's first animal obesity clinic. according to statistics, my favorite kind, 55% of adult cats and 53% of adult dogs are four-legged fatties. they will employ the licensed nutritionists who will develop the new diets for pets and those who fail to lose weight. in the end, it is our fault. explains the head of the association of obesity prevention. it exists. quote, most owners are unaware that their pet is overweight. so start being aware, you overeating enablers.

let's check the progress of one of the clinic's first patients. >> that was amazing. >> was that shamu? can chails -- can whales have fur? >> and the owner does not know the cat is overweight. >> he had to be taken out with a crane. that's cool when you think about it. i would like to be moved by crane. >> it is a bitchin way to upon your demise be lifted out and put in a piano upon burial. >> will, president are aren't -- aren't animals more

fun when they are fat? >> obesity is a serious issue, and i don't know why it is being included with these other stories. >> actually it is a serious issue, pab. these animals don't know they are fat. so it is up to human beings to somehow prevent them from gaining weight and developing the self-esteem issues that come with being an over weight pet. you don't know how they feel. >> that is true. i wasn't thinking of the self-esteem. why would you get a dog if you don't enjoy running around and doing the fetch thing and taking them for -- >> it is a lot of work having a dog. i don't get it, but i think the future is in the workout dvd's. you have a cute poodle teaching them the fire high drapt and the -- the hydrant and brazil butt lift. >> what do you do with your pet? my goodness. pab, you are a sick person. >> thank you. i have to ask you, greg, this is another sign that we are the richest, greatest

society when our pets are overweight. there are people starving and we are thinking about our fat pets. >> stick a fork in us and we are done. when i was little i had a pet walrus and people said he had to much blubber. i can't help but give him another bucket when he looks at me. >> you slept with him, didn't you? you let him sleep at the end of the bed. >> sometimes he would sleep on top of me, and i knew he was overweight. when a dog lays on your head and it ways -- weighs thousands of pounds. i have to quit feeding this thing. >> bill, you eat cans and cans of puppy chow and that's all you can afford, and you are skinny. >> i understand when people get fat because nobody is there to stop us. if your pet is fat, feed him less food. if we stop feeding them, they

will stop being fat. the fact we have a clinic to tell us what we already know. you tell your dog don't eat that, that's, that. >> same thing with kids. >> are you equating kids with dogs ? >> kids can sneak food. dogs are stupid. >> i had a dog that could open cupboards and stuff. >> if you leave apes alone isn't it true they will gather intelligence and then take over the earth? that seems like an issue we are not broaching. >> we are doing an hour on that. >> don't let them leave san francisco. once they cross the bridge it is go time. that's when it is a planet of the apes and not for the apes. >> thanks for the distinct. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news.com. and if you have a video of your animal doing something not boring send it in. go to fox news.com/red eye and

click on submit a video. the half time report from tv's andy levy. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by photocopy yes, sir. the machine that makes pipe duplicates of documents and other images quickly and cheaply.

we're back. let's see if we have anything wrong so far. hi andy. >> hi, greg. >> how are you? >> great. >> how is the bus? >> great. i won't talk about it. >> we will have to cover. >> i can do my amazing collosal man. >> were there a bunch of factual statements i intoed to correct -- i need to correct? halloween display shows president obama in a web. you said it was cool this thr was a hamel -- there was a hammer on the money bag? it was a dollar sign. part was hidden. jay oh golly. color me all red all over the place. i have never been as embarrassed as i am at this moment other than when i jumped over the bus and found it was filled with avon cologne. >> it is avon or jovan. >> jovan.

>> pab, you said this is stupid, but they have a right to show the president in a spider web. you put a black man in a web, it is clearly a spider whistle. >> nobody thought about that. >> this rampant racial accusation is why we rarely ever see a black spider-man. >> it is true. he had the black costumes for awhile. >> yes. >> and there was a campaign to get donald glover the new spider-man. which i was a part of. >> the fact that you know that and are involved in that is a sad thing. >> he would have been a great spider-man. i was not involved in a petition. i don't sign petitions. i don't do that. you know that about me. >> he was trying to get an actor to become black spider-man. what else do you do? >> i do a lot of things you

don't know about. >> andy will start signing the petitions when i get rid of the electric for rail college. >> dan lee said he didn't think a black man should play spider-man because a black man is more iconically known than a white guy. i didn't like that. >> simi valley is stoping people from putting up halloween decorations. you said you know why it is called simi valley? >> it was a joke. >> do you want to know why it is named simi valley? it comes have an indian word that means thread. and it refers to a threat-like clouds that are absorbed in the valley. >> andy, don't even bother. >> i am i am not. you said there are 160 sex offenders in simi valley. and i checked and it is up to 119 now. >> my uncle vic and his two

buddies. they told me they were moving from gilroy. >> there are 69 sex offend you ares on the megan's law website. they committed felonies, but there are a total of 119 people. it treats all the same. if you are drunk in public, and you your nate, you can be -- and you urinate you can be charged with a sex offense. treating the people the same as people who committed, quote, lewd or lascivious acts with a child under 14 years, and people who had oral copulation with a victim unconscious of the nature of the act,ett set raw. that doesn't seem right. >> no, but andy this is actually a different story that you are getting into. it is actually serious. there are people who -- if you

are busted for public your nation you are a sex offender. that is actually a serious story. we are in no wheresville and you are bringing up a heavy topic. it is true though. >> if you have a -- if you have sex with a 6 steep-year-old are you a sex offender. >> i'm sorry it is a right you can lose. >> because you urinated in public. >> he said that is an exception. >> but it seems like about half of the people on the list or close to half are not fell loons. >> so you are talking statutory stuff and urination. joy this would never happen. i just want to point that out. >> this is what you call helping us out of a dead end. i am actually pointing us out which keeps us in the dead end. back to the your nation.

>> pab, thank you for defending the sex offenders. i thought that was excellent. >> that's for the out of context to edit. >> you raise the issue of continuing to frustrate them after they leave. but we see this in a lot of jurisdictions. there are restrictions where sex offenders can live after they served their time. >> it is tricky. they are sticking up for relatives caught in the web. >> it is a spider whistle. >> you know what my solution always is? >> sex offender island. >> i came up with this in 2006 or 2007. get an island and put the sex offenders there. that's why it is called sex offender island. >> what is the island you choose for this? >> catalina. >> 26 miles across the city.

>> they have good hotels too. pab, the voters have a right to know this woman intends to take their money and slack off and be lazy. in fact though, those posts were like from 2004 and 2005. she hasn't played the game in a month. gentlemen she used to play a lot, but not much anymore. she uses -- >> she uses the sterm t-baggers. uses the term t baggers. it is full of obscenities and she is naming politicians who she wants to stab and who she wants to drowned. a lot of vial things and then she talks about how she is a piece-loving liberal. >> i completely agree. the ones that warrant based on the game were a little drubled. >> it is not just the game.

>> you sounded like newbs though. >> that i ask? >> it is about time. >> i will be looking for a new job, so if you hear anything. >> it was a gutsy call. >> greg, after guests took shots in delaware and maine you said we have offended two perceived steaks. that's not helpful. >> actual states. >> i have been to delaware and driven through it. there are lovely things there. delaware is great, actual lie. >> what do you like about it? >> there is stuff you can do. the delaware river. >> i have been to a nascar race in delaware del. i used to by it because i go around delaware. i have never been to main though.

>> greg, you said dogs don't have knees? >> they most certainly do. >> elephants have knees. >> dogs have knees. >> if it goes like this it is not a knee. elephants are the only ones who have them, look it up. spider-man would not allow the needle. you are right, but this is not a controversy. dogs have knees. >> you are wrong in this case. >> no, i am not. >> don't make me gets my wild kingdom laser disk out. >> we talked about this before. when you were growing up you did not have a wall russ. will ford brinley looked like him smed you. >> and you seem to think if we

leave the apes alone they will take over the planet? >> my feeling is eggs should be looked after. if you gave a tea strainer they would form an army. now that he is gone a lot of the threat is gone. the worst thing about a rival program. >> what was your early -- your favorite movies are? >> they came to earth. >> "escape from." >> there is -- >> it is "beneath." the nuclear war guys with the melted faces. >> let's be honest. she was in the first know vac, the lady in the bough key gnaw knee. >> she was dynamite.

and then the whole world died. it is really complex, and i am sorry you brought it up. >> i have a planet of the apes model set. >> they were the snap ons. >> i didn't have much dexterity. >> i did that between signing petitions and getting tv characters to play spider-man. i am done. >> that you are. we solved a lot of great issues, and we were halfway through the show. coming up, how much would it cost to get a at that tatoo on ?ok key's . >> did a student get caught with a bud enhancing descrug? i ruined that tease.

we just wept through every 1970s movie and ended with "earthquake" talking about how

hot valerie -- >> victoria -- >> has network tv embraced lgbt. the number of gay characters on tv is at an all-time high. glad reports that 4% of actors on prime time scripted network will portray gay, lex bean and trans sexual transgenders. "true blood" has six straight nonstraight parts. discuss -- >> lightning roooouuuunnnd. lightning round. >> greg, they say 4% is good, but i argue it should be 100%. what say you? >> of gay characters on tv? >> yes. >> i think every news anchor is. that's a guess on my part. a lot of times bill and i go to little misters.

we watch tv and eat junior mints and say we are watching football. i really think there should be more gay representation. >> i think i agree with you. pab, you told me in the green room you only watch gay programming. >> yes, i did. >> i think it is appropriate to represent what it is in real life. the problem is we don't know. we were talking about it before. it is anywhere from 2% to 10%. it is not that clear. if the people who make the movies in new york and california think the percentage is high. >> they are hipocritical that they are fearful if they add too much gay characterss into a show they would lose their audience. you hear that from actors how oddly enough hollywood is the most homophobic. >> i am glad we were able to

bash them. >> and they worship the devil. >> you read my mind. >> thoughts? >> this study doesn't sound accurate. anyone who grew up watching sesame street and starsky hutch, pozi and ralph mouth were clearly lovers. it is about time we acknowledged that. >> laverne and shirley. >> >> the original ending for newhart, and then a suit came down and another suit came down. it was all a dream. >> wild wild west was called wild wild, something else. >> starsky and hutch, hugy bear? >> bill, are you upset you were not counted in the statistics? >> i am not gay. i am not, not gay. it is for them to pass out

after i have a drink. >> i will say we need more of them. more gay characters please in all spectrums of the entertainment world. >> veal ma on scooby doo. >> what eves. we must take a break. you have less than tour minutes to bring me a sandwich. start moving.

last topic, a pennsylvania man is suing a strip club for 50 grand for -- >> sorry i snorted. >> he claimed he sustained the injury at his bachelor party in 2010. patrick gallagher was pulled on stage at the pebt house club. that's when -- penthouse club. that's when a dancer slid down the stripper pole and landed on him so his bladder ruptured. he is suing and part is for a new bladder with leopard skin. >> should he get it diswhroo. >> it should be in

$crumbled -- in crumbled $1 bills. and the coping should be "she's got legs ♪ ♪ all he wants to do is dance ♪ >> pab, have you ever seen an injury like this at the strip club? >> never been. but if you were going to be injured by a stripper, you would have to come up with a better way than that. she just fell down from the poll. from the pole. there has to be better, sexier ways to sustain injury. do they go through the marriage? are they still together? >> now damaged goods. >> and she didn't give it to him. that's the problem. >> he needed surgery. isn't that a sign it was a good bachelor party? >> it was a shame walter croncite was here.

>> this happened in port richmond, pennsylvania. i don't know how you go to a penthouse club and not say, this is going to end well. not the highest quality is my understanding. >> yes, put your hands together for blinky. for the next 15 minutes hien gnaw kins are 25 minutes. >> oh my god. >> port richmond? >> oddly biblical strip club. >> port richmond is a delightful place. it has a port. >> and a richmond. >> bill, last word to you. you still work as a private stripper, but for elderly gentlemen. have you ever been injured or injured anyone? >> technically a stripper gets paid. i just do this for charity. i can see what this will do. there is no shame.

with the internets and the youtubes and the facebooks and what have you, this guy does not care. he just wants to get -- my advice to him is don't do something stew tid -- stupid. i have hepititis from your buffet. >> you give hepititis to the buffet. it doesn't just magically appear there. you are the pay it forward for them and it makes no sense to just appear there. >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up. to see clips of recent shows fox news.com/red eye.

see you back here at 5:00 p.m. brand-new "red eye" on monday. >> back to andy levy for the post game wrap up.

>> what brings you to new york? >> i will be doing my pod cast in brooklyn on saturday night. it is called "the smartest men in the world." it is a joke. it is also free on itunes. >> sleent. excellent. pab, you are getting a big honor? >> the catholic brooklyn diocese is starting a hall of fame. they invited me to be in an all girl member along with donald trump and romano and i am excited. >> strict catholics all. >> my dad made that comment actually. well i am. joy enough catholic bashing. >> what is up with the book? >> it is about those who want to love and beloved. the leader of the free world may or may not be a lizard at the end. >> really? >> i wrote it with jaime weinstein. >> also receiving a cat